


Sex Pollen: An Origin Story

by firecat



Category: Multi-Fandom
Genre: Allergies, Gen, Genetic Engineering, Intelligent Life in the Universe, Jurassic Park References, Obsession, Probable incorrect usage of scientific jargon, Sex Pollen, Star Trek References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25302151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecat/pseuds/firecat
Summary: How did the whole "sex pollen" thing get started anyway?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	Sex Pollen: An Origin Story

**Author's Note:**

> Note: abstract references to dubcon. Otherwise no archive warnings apply.
> 
> FFFC 100th Special Challenge  
> Table D: Fairytale/Fantasy/SciFi  
> Written for the prompt: 33. DNA experiment goes wrong

“Achooo!”

Uh oh.

Sex pollen season is starting.

“Sex pollen.” Whoever came up with that crazy name for it? Still, it’s descriptive.

Not everyone is sensitive to it. And of those that are, not everyone reacts in the way suggested by the name. Sure, some people become sex machines, and engage in all sorts of dubcon activities with their teammates or others in their lives. My word, the sheer volume of stories that have been written about that! 

But a few develop other obsessions, such as writing, or making music, or staying at the lab for all hours doing extracurricular experiments. 

And some people just sneeze a lot and have itchy eyes.

For me it is...some of everything. 

How did this happen? It’s a classic trope. A cautionary tale: Genetic modification gone wrong. 

On Earth, at least, it all started because the honeybees were dying.

Honeybees fertilize some damned important crops on Earth. And there was no way we humans could stuff the planet so full of more copies of ourselves if we couldn’t use those crops for food. What could we do?

Science to the Rescue! 

Or maybe more like Science Running Around Trying to Kill a Mosquito with a Flamethrower, Just Because It Happens to Be Handy!

Look! We have figured out what makes plants pollinate via the wind! We have a transgene candidate! We have seeds! 

Yes, one of us wrote the cautionary tale _Jurassic Park,_ but we don’t need to pay attention to that. That’s just a movie franchise, and the dinosaurs don’t even have feathers!

> “Don’t do the thing,” said Spock to Kirk. 
> 
> “I’m going to do the thing!” replied Kirk, every time. 

(Except the time when it was Spock who did the thing. Getting a faceful of sex pollen, I mean. There’s a documentary about it.)

The scientists and genetech companies and produce suppliers loved it. That transgene ended up in hundreds of crops, all over the world.

And then, just like the Cassandras and Han Solos of the world had warned, there were...unwanted side effects. 

For example, it never seemed to have occurred to anyone who mattered that other plants might pick up the gene. Plants like ragweed. 

It didn’t occur that the wind-disseminated GMO pollen might cause unusual reactions in humans. Who knew plant hormones could affect people hormones? Lots of people, actually, but there was no _Journal of The Aphrodisiac Signalling of GMO Pollen Cells in the Human Body,_ and everyone stuck stubbornly to their tiny research subdiscipline. So.

So, eventually, inexorably, with utter disregard for consent, _just because it could,_ ragweed season transformed into sex pollen season. 

It might seem as if I’m singling out humans here for a unique degree of stupidity. Far from it.

Intergalactic historians of science have studied intelligent species throughout the ages. Their overwhelming consensus? Every intelligent species in the Universe goes through a Sex Pollen phase of development. 

Well, except dolphins. But from what I understand, they’re kind of born sex-pollinated to begin with.

There really is no getting around it. The damn stuff is everywhere. Time for me to get my nasal spray and a big box of tissues, and open my dating app.


End file.
